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We now resume your regularly scheduled blog, already in progress…

Sorry I’ve had some technical difficulties the last couple of days. Thanks for hanging in there with me! 🙂

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Personal: Progress (part 2)

Despite my fears and the many hurdles I still have yet to face, my therapist told me that I am ready (YEEEE!!! ::puke::) I was shocked and surprised and excited and scared, and I simultaneously experienced waves of thrill AND nausea. I was expecting to be months away from anything… I was expecting that she […]

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Personal: Progress (part 1)

My poor ADD brain is so overloaded right now; I’m not really sure where to start… (Hmm… Perhaaaps I should start with an appointment to get back on some sorta meds for that damn ADD. Heh.) At any rate, I had my first appointment with my new** therapist yesterday Tuesday afternoon, and I’m still reeling […]

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Personal: Visibility Among Lesbians

So, I hung out a couple of nights this week at a popular lesbian(ish) bar here in town, and wow… it really made me FEEL like a lesbian —err, rather, it’s reminded me that I LOOK like a lesbian (duh, right? I know… I mean, up until fairly recently** I’d been living my life as […]

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Personal: “Hey Girl!”

Growing up I knew that I was different from the other kids – even before I knew that words like homosexual, butch, queer or transgender existed. I just knew that I didn’t quite… fit. Now that I’m 34 and not building roads with the boys in the sandbox or trying to impress the girls with how […]

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Personal: I wish…

Sometimes I wish I’d just been born male… or female – or “straight”… non-queer… WHATEVER. As long as it was at least, like, 90% “something” and without question. Of course, then I remind myself that SURELY there’s a reason that *this* is my journey. That this fucked-up mess of gender and sexuality is all part of […]

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Personal: “Letting Go of ‘Butch'”

You know, I really want to document/vent/discuss my experience from the other night, but I’m still struggling with the writing process for whatever reason… It’s like all of my thoughts are stuck inside my head, and I either end up rambling or can’t quite figure out what I want to say or how I feel… […]

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Personal: *sigh*

I want to apologize for the lack of content the last few… um, weeks… dammit – months. I promise I’ll try not to go *that* long again. I really DO appreciate the small group of readers that I was beginning to see returning (and subscribing), and I don’t want to let you (or myself!) down. […]

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Personal: Gender and Sexuality and Definitions, oh MY!

So, I’m having a confident day today… for whatever reason, I feel like I understand where I’m going. It doesn’t matter to me (today) what other people think or how they perceive me or my transition. Today… it’s all about me. I don’t feel the need to explain myself or define my gender. It’s amazing […]

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Personal: Fear and doubt

A few weeks ago, I met a handful of guys from a local FTM group to see a movie, and it was the first time ever that I was referred to using male pronouns. It was weird and exciting and… really kind of AMAZING. They also called me by my chosen male name, and for […]

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