I’ve wondered a bit, lately, about the best course of action for this site…
The Butchelor currently averages about 100 unique visitors everyday, and I definitely feel there’s some useful information here, for anyone facing similar questions to those I had during this time of my life. So, it will definitely be available as an archive of existing content. However, I do NOT think I’ll be posting much, if any, additional content.
I always saw The Butchelor as a starting point (much like it was for me, in real life), and I DO still have plans to launch it’s predecessor (a new website altogether), but it probably won’t be until much later in the year or maybe even next— I WILL post an update here when that time comes 🙂
In closing, I wanted go ahead and share the final entry, below…
It’s a post I began towards the very beginning of the coming out phase of my transition process, and has been waiting in the Drafts folder until today.
Most of what I posted on The Butchelor was focused on my fears — mostly, because my fears were very much ruling my existence at that point. I think this post marked a turning point for me, emotionally, during my transition, and I definitely thought it appropriate to share with you, here, now.
I just had to take a minute to document how I’m feeling today… it seems like so much of what I write lately has been all ‘doom and gloom’ — but today is just, pretty freakin’ awesome! 🙂
I came out at work yesterday (via letters that I left with my boss and my direct report) – I talked to my coworker before leaving work yesterday and that went well. I left, actually feeling extremely nervous, not knowing how she was going to react, but I was happy to have things in motion, at least.
I’m ALSO happy that I started my day, today, with a text from my boss letting me know that he fully supports me and respects me and thinks it’s so courageous and wonderful and all sorts of other, very nice things!
I’m excited that every hurdle I clear just makes me stronger and more prepared for the next hurdle and then the next…
I’m excited because, for the first time, I can actually think about MYSELF (rather than about all the other people in my life and their reactions) – I can take a minute to think about me and my decision to transition and about how I feel, right now, about it… and I FINALLY feel, without a shadow of a doubt, 150%, that I absolutely made the right decision, for ME, and I can finally feel good about it, on its own – without (AS) much worry about everyone ELSE.
I feel optimistic about coming out to my mom (and even to my family, in general)—it may not go perfectly, but no matter what — I KNOW (without a shadow of a doubt) that I’m doing the right thing, for ME… and I’m prepared to let my family’s reaction be their own — without any desire or need to manage their emotions or their reactions… Their emotions and their reactions belong to THEM.
I am a lot stronger that I EVER imagined I could be…
People are a LOT better and more understanding and amazing than I EVER imagined they could be.
This is happening.